Moving to Israel on my own (without a program this time)

Probably one of the scariest things you could do is move across the world by yourself leaving everyone you know and love thousands of miles from you. I mean I came to Israel before for 10 months but this time is different. Last time everything was arranged for me on the program, the apartment paid for, my roommates established, where I'll work and activities and events I'd participate in my free time. Basically built in friends and a routine and structure designed for me. If there were any issues we could just text our city program director. Moving back to Israel on my own without this structure I knew it would be different but I think I underestimated how lonely it could be. 

After the program coming back home to the states, I knew it was my destiny to come back and live in Tel Aviv for a more permanent situation. After months of Aliyah (immigration) and planning I finally made it back mid February. I already had a job set up for me at an English speaking preschool in Tel Aviv. But it didn't start until a couple weeks after I got here, which made sense because I had a lot of work to do in regards of  Aliyah. Needless to say my first few weeks were the busiest, collecting paperwork, dealing with Israeli bureaucracy, which is no easy feat, and catching up with old friends. I made sure my schedule was packed when I first arrived so I didn't have any downtime to feel lonely and homesick. 

Suddenly a month after moving here I got Covid for the first time. It wasn't easy like a cold, I was pretty sick and weak for around 5 days. After trying so hard to avoid my feelings and face the reality of where I was by myself, I was forced to confront what I was hiding from while spending a week in my bed only with my thoughts and Netflix. I felt more alone then ever at this time. And to add to the fact it was the week of Purim, a Jewish holiday where everyone dresses up and parties, so I could add FOMO is the list of emotions at that time. Mostly the loneliness plagued me, I was reminded that everyone is living their own lives and if I wanted to be social I had to make an effort. Whereas on my program there were always friends within reach and were all relating and going through the same things. I also missed my family, watching a new TV show with my sister or just having family game nights and pizza on Sunday, I would've given anything to be with them. Homesickness for me often comes with craving food from America like Taco Bell, local pizza and Italian restaurants, even Panera, basically any place reminding me of home. After this time in quarantine I was reminded to slow down, I don't have to constantly keep myself busy in order to enjoy myself. And my alone time is valuable. 

 Now almost 3 months into living here, I've gotten a lot more comfortable being alone, and I realize I can thrive in that space. I'm working now at the preschool full-time which I feel quite accomplished and proud of myself that I was able to land a job so quickly after moving here. It also gives me a sense of routine and normalcy in a city where things are constantly moving and changing. I no longer feel the pressure or need to go out every weekend to feel like I'm fulfilled socially. I've learned to be content and fulfilled just by myself and doing things I enjoy like taking a walk on the beach, going to a yoga class, drawing or reading tarot cards. 

There's definitely been challenges every step of the way, I'm already moving for the third time since being here, there was a shooting 10 minutes from where I lived, being sick constantly, dealing with the Israeli government with Aliyah, there's always something. But amongst all this, I feel grateful to be here and also proud of myself at how much I've grown already in these few short months learning to love and embrace my independence. 

Below is a picture of me at my preschool:)